Most of you know that B has celiac, is allergic to dyes and eggs, sensitive to dairy, lacks enough enzymes to process protein well, and MTHFR (both genes are mutated. She doesn't methylated b vitamins or folic acid correctly.) The cards are stacked against her health wise. She doesn't absorb the foods she eats well and food is poison.
In the last year, she's had it. Had it with taking supplements. Had it with not eating cheese and yogurt. She won't stray from the gluten free because she knows how badly that effects her, but everything else she's willing to live with the consequences right now. What does that mean? That means she is tired. That means her tic disorder is back. This time in the form of blinking. That means she isn't sleeping well and her anxiety is up.
It also means that she has started hiding and taking food more often. Particularly candy. She will take any candy in the house, even if it belongs to someone else, and then hide the wrapper in her room somewhere. Even foods that are not someone else's, such as yogurt, are being consumed and then the wrappers hidden in her room. I have even found a container of Parmesan cheese under her sink in her bathroom. I'm not going looking for these things, but either ants or the dog find them for me...
I get it. We had to be so strict when we first found out celiac and then again a couple years ago when she went downhill. Nothing but meats, fruits, and veggies. That sucks. Now it feels like she's doing something wrong when she consumes these things and needs to hide it. I get it.
Getting it does not make this any easier. I see how it's effecting her. I want her to feel good and I know that getting back on her supplements and back off all the dairy and candy will have her feeling well again. I don't want to harp on her. I want to let her figure this out on her own. But...but... It's awful watching her daze out. It's awful watching her tic. It's awful.
I know it doesn't help anything to punish or talk to her about stealing/hiding food. I know it doesn't help to yell or make her feel even worse. That said, I have, I do. I have let go of so many things and each time I let go and let her manage, she surprises me. She's done this with her school work. I stopped harping on her to get things done on my time. They just have to be done or no electronics or barn. She gets it done now. No tears and the output is wonderful! Somehow this is much harder to let go of. I see how much it is hurting her and how she isn't acting like my baby and I want to fix it. As if harping on her will fix it. I know logically it won't, but when I get home from the gym, she will start blinking and I will ask her if she's taken her medicine today or tell her to cut back on dairy.... Even though it won't help....food allergies suck....letting go sucks...
